The Fix Up …

The minute you pass 25 everyone you know starts trying to fix you up … I am talking from a male perspective … I am sure there are Omani female bloggers that can write about what the females go through … Everyone has a go at fixing you up with the hope that you will settle down and get married… that is the aim or goal… and that is what makes the fix up a legal endeavor

The God Fearing do it to score some thawab (good points) with Allah… your friends do it for fun … and sometimes as a social experiment … mothers do it because they love you … fathers do it to get rid of you … siblings do it because they want you out (to get rid of you) … and some do it for no reason at all … I have no idea why your colleagues at work try to do it … I also don’t know why friends of your parents would try to do it … but I have come to learn that the reasons behind the fix up are never relevant … the actual fix up is all that counts … and when and if the fix up works, many will come to claim it… and you would find people whispering to each other…

“I introduced them” …

“you introduced them? Um Ali just told me she introduced them…”

“UM ALI ??? that cow cant even introduce flies to each other…”

And when the union fails .. everyone will start saying it wasn’t going to work…

“I told Um Ali that this wasn’t going to work….”

“but I thought you did the introducing with this one?”

“Nigga Please … I know better than that ..”

And so on …. I have a friend … he is still not married … and for Omani standards the guy is pretty old to be single (past 25) … he is western educated … from a good family … a decent career… and some would even say that he is stylish and good looking … I will not reveal his identity … but I will refer him to as Dr. Ninja… He is not a doctor, however i cannot say for sure that he is not a ninja… you know how secretive these people are with the secret warrior code and all… but I think everyone in Oman has tried to fix Dr. Ninja up at least once… if not more than that

So I hook up with Dr. Ninja for some tea and biscuits and he tell me that he had just come from a fix up ….

DN: Sorry I am late, I just came from another fix up ..

OM: Another one ? how many this week ?

DN: second one this week …

OM: are you getting closer?

DN: Not really … this time it was weird … i was called to a friend’s house to get introduced. . it was short notice and rushed …

OM: and ?

DN: and nothing..

OM: what do you mean nothing ?

DN: i dont know dude … the situation was weird … she knew that i was going to be there … so she was supposed to come to check me out … i knew she was going to be there … so i went to check her out … but … she didnt know that i knew that she knew that I knew… and i wasnt supposed to show that i knew that she knew … so the whole time i was just too conscious of what i was supposed to know and what i really knew and what i should show that i knew and dont show what that i knew … and i am not sure if i really showed her that i didnt know that she knew … what i am trying to say is … it was supposed to look like we both didnt know that it was a fix up … when we both knew it was …

OM: So are you sure you met the person you were supposed to meet?

DN: forgetaboutit … the whole thing is just too complicated .. so whats new with you ?

OM: So your not getting married …

DN: Dude ..

OM: you didnt like her ..

DN: i dont know her to like her or not like her..

OM: you will see here again ..

DN: wait .. i have a phone call ..

So the person that arranged the fix up was making the follow up call … “so what do you think?” …. “did you like her” …. “do you want to see her again”….

I dont think Dr. Ninja went for this one .. but i am sure its not going to be the last fix up he goes through … at the end i am not even sure these fix ups ever work … and if they do work .. what is the involvement of the person that arranged the fix up? I never actually met anyone that has actually fixed anyone up … I meet a lot of people who claim them later …

So as an experiment i try to fix twp people up … i was more involved in this thing then the people actually involved … the coordination … the logistics … the scheduling … the convincing … and talking and talking and talking

“No, that’s not what he meant”

“No, she didnt meant to say that”

“Yes, Good Looking, Good Looking”

“Yes, very open minded”

my phone bills went up … i started not sleeping … i started getting chest pains … it was more stressful for me then for them … it felt like i took on another job … so now i just claim like everyone else…


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