The Sandwich Artist …

Yes .. i am talking about the genius sandwich makers at subway … they come in different shapes, sizes, nationalities, and levels of intellect…. Some are a pleasure to watch and others make sandwiches that you wouldnt even want to touch with stick … let alone eat …

so the key to having a nice meal at or from subway is The Sandwich Artist (TSA)… this is something you should not take lightly …these guys make or break the sandwich for you … DO NOT HESITATE TO WALK OUT … if you have any doubt that the TSA you are assigned (by random) is not going to fulfill the promise of his job title… DO NOT HESITATE TO WALK OUT even if the guy is in the middle of making you a sandwich …

I am not sure if i should categorize the sandwich artists … lately, ive just been doing too much categorizing and generalizing… but i can tell you that the best TSAs are the filipino males … those guys can really make a wicked sandwich … and at the bottom of the list are thick moustached pakistani sandwich artists that dont speak english or arabic … if you get assigned one of these guys … get out of there … RUN !

I walk into the Subway in MQ …. and the place is steaming hot …. i dont know why ?! its usually not this hot .. … but i immediately start to think of how fresh all the stuff here must still be …. with all this HEAT !! … as i walk in there are 4 sandwich artist in the place … one of them just wanted to get out of there and didnt even wait till i got in … he ran out just before me … then there was 3 left … a Filipina … a young indian guy… and a thick moustached pakistani sandwich artists that doesnt speak english or arabic …

guess who i get ?

OM: Why is it so hot in hear ? (smiling)

PSA: @#%^!*B (mumble)

OM: Why is it so hot in hear ?!

PSA: @#%^!*B (mumble)

OM: Why is it so hot in hear….

TMP-SAT-DSEA: @#%^!*B (mumble)

OM: two 6 inch wheat please

PSA: @#%^!*B @$#$@ (humble mumble)

It takes him 3 minutes to take out a one foot wheat bread and cuts it into two pieces…. when i look at the two pieces of bread he just cut … i loose my sense of humor… there is an 7inch and a 4inch … not only did he manage to loose an inch of the bread but he cant even cut the bread into a 2 semi equal pieces … loosing the inch might have been an attempt to make them look like they are the same size … Ok … one more thing i am walking out and not looking back ..

what would be easier to explain o my wife ?? walking out ?? or a 4 inch 6 inch sandwich ??

Now…. i usually dont like to argue with people that are making me something to eat … so i force a smile and say :

OM: Why is it so hot in hear ?!

PSA: hot?

OM: Why one big bread one small bread, not same same ? (i switch to Pinglish)

PSA: @#%^!*B @$#$@ (humble jumble mumble)

OM: Why now 2 small bread ? u make changing …

by this time we are holding up the Q … i am being skipped … mister moustache finds another loaf of bread … this time the filipina sandwich artist (FSA) that is watching all this time interferes and cuts the bread herself…. and we go on… the situation is not getting any better … i am still ready to run …

OM: chis, tostes plis (Pinglish for cheese toasted please)

PSA: @#%^!*B @$#$@, @#%^!*B @$#$@

OM: put chis, make hot (Pinglish)

PSA: @#%^!*<<<—- !!!

OM: HOT, HOT MAKING (Pinglish) PSSHHH oooh ah ah ah hot

FSA: surrrr, purst ad da meat den toastss…

OM: ahh okay… roast beef please … more please… more please … more please … MORE … Tureky in the other one … more please… more please .. more please… more please … more please … ok thank you… now toast the fsandwich………

Side note: I HATE it when restaurants are stingy on the portions that i am paying for… I like it the American way … HUGE portions (places like chillies) …. I need at least four slices of meat in my sandwich … and this guy starts with 2 slices … and every time i ask for more, he ads one ??? one is not a portion, is it a portion ??? isnt 4 slices a portion??? and if i ask for more i should get a portion ??? its the same at McDees here in Oman .. i think its a policy NOT to fill your fries thing … its never full … NEVER … what ever size you take …. they train them to just tuck in the fries in without opening the thing up too much … coz if you open it up it’ll take more fires … just slip those fries in … don’t use any force … and then make it look they are overflowing …

Now i have PSA and FSA each doing one sandwich for me… it was too much pressure for PSA to done 2 at the same time… he wasn’t trained to handle this kind of situation…

PSA: Salaydheh?

OM: Lettuce, Olives, Green Peppers, Jalapeños and Onions (little)

FSA: surrr would you liqe some salad surrr?

OM: Lettuce, Olives, Green Peppers, Jalapeños and Tomatoes

Now PSA is filling the other sandwich up with Tomatoes …

OM: HALLO … not Tomatoes… Onions …. no no no little little…. LITTLE… no no no dont take out the Jalapeños… NO TOMATOES.

FSA: not tomatoes surr…?

OM: Just wrap them up… Lets go …

now its time to pay … mister Indian Sandwich Artist is at the cash machine …

ISA: any drinks with that sir?

OM: No thank you … this is my subway card…

ISA: Sorry sir. The sticker is out of stock … but i sign, ok?

OM: ok, you sign.

ISA: 3.780 Rials. thank you.

OM: Here 4.000 rials

ISA: Your change. 200 bz

That was it … now they were going to take my 20 bz … but i was beyond the “GET OUT” threshold … now i have to fight …

OM: Where is my 20 bz ? my change is 220 bz. This is only 200 bz

ISA: ha… bit but bit sir we dont have 20 bz here …

OM: Why do you charge me 80bz if you cant give me back 20 bz…

ISA: one minutes sir …

he runs into the back where i see him speak to Master Sandwich Artist… MSA comes out and opens the cash machine and hands me a full 100 bz back without saying a word …

i take it …

smile to myself…

and walk out …

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